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bchem
11 September 2008 @ 09:23 pm
A Sad Sad Day Indeed --- So Long to Shawn  
As always, I got up this morning fed my Sheltie and headed upstairs to feed Shawn, the fish.  In my fog I opened the top of the tank and as I was sprinkling the food on the surface of the water I couldn't help but notice that Shawn wasn't scampering to the top looking perturbed because I fed the dog first.    A pain of sadness cut through my gut as I saw Shawn (I don't use pronouns as I don't know if Shawn was a he or a she).  Actually I suspect it was a he who was born a she but I could never get Shawn to talk about it.  

Yes, there he was in his slightly green algae ridden 10 gallon tank that Shawn called home; now turned watery grave.   Dear G-d, he was vertical.   Fish aren't supposed to be vertical.  It's just NOT natural.  He looked pale.  

As Shawn lay in state in that blue fish net he hated so much, I couldn't help but reflect on his life.  He was born the spawn of two other fish named Shawn.  That's all I know of his background really.   As I alluded to earlier, Shawn didn't talk much.   

I softly hummed Amazing Grace as I executed "the flush" and Shawn went clockwise (still vertical) down the drain.   I couldn't help but wonder if he was buried in the southern hemisphere; would he have gone counter clockwise?   I guess that's one of those unanswered questions I'll carry with me the rest of my life.  

There is an even greater tragedy here though.   The Discovery Channel called just last week.   They were interested in featuring me in a new program to air this fall entitled, Esther and Windy Plus One.  Needless to say they're no longer interested in doing the show.  

But life as they say must go on.  And I must go on without Shawn.  So Long Shawn.  
 
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bchem
05 September 2008 @ 05:47 pm
Shabbos with Windy and "Hanna"  
Waiting for a storm to arrive is like waiting for the other shoe to fall.  It looks cloudy and dreary already and Hanna is not due to arrive unltil tomorrow afternoon.   She's a not yet a real Hurricane but a tropical storm packs a wallop with 60 mile per hour wind gusts.  I just pray that the power doesn't go out.   That could make for a very long Shabbos.  Oh well, I'll miss the family and friends I normally spend Shabbos with but I didn't feel that I could send my pet sitter out in a tropical storm to fed a hungry Sheltie.  

I went to the hardware store and was surprised to see that there was still an ample supply of tap lights, flash lights, water and other storm survival "essentials".    Hanna must feel like Rodney Dangerfield.... she not getting any respect.   Or maybe the "weatherman" has cried wolf once too often.   We'll see.   My sheds and grill cover are secured with super bungee cords and all deck furniture is secured.  That should stave off the storm pretty well.      

Good Shabbos to all and to all a good week.  :) 
 
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bchem
03 September 2008 @ 06:38 pm
Why does everything have to be so confusing????  
I went online this evening to see what my options are regarding social security benefits.   Well basically, if I understand correctly, If I collect benefits before my full retirement age then there are penalties.    And if I continue to work this eats into the benefits determined by a scale that only an acturary with Turettes can understand.  

It's somehting like this, my full retirement age is 66 unless I was born during the full moon in a thunder storm while being chased by a bear.  Then everything changes on an hourly basis but can be prorated if I am not legally blind and do not dye my hair after age 72. 

Then I can claim the full social security benefits of my deceased spouse and three of my nearest neighbors.   If however my dog outlives me, everything reverts to her name and can not be left to my surviving children.   HOWEVER, when any of this falls in a leap year, everything goes to my son provided he can change the oil in my Xterra in 30 minutes or less without leaving a nasty oil spot in the driveway; thereby drastically bringing down the property value of the house.   Most likely if he fails, my son will have to flee to Houston to pursue a career in the oil industry leaving his sisters to fight over the greatly devalued house. 

Are you with me?   

Now take everything I've told you, divide by 3, add your age, substract the gross national debt and WALLA, there you have it ...... Your Monthly Benefit Amount

Make no mistake about it folks, this is how they are going to fix the SS system.   They've successfully made it so complicated that no one can understand it well enough to complete the form.  And that's the truth. 
 
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bchem
01 September 2008 @ 08:09 pm
Second Chances  
Rarely in life do we get a second chance to right a wrong or to correct something that in ones opinion was not the right thing to do.  Tonight I was blessed with that second chance.   I don't want to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say I feel as if a weight has been lifted and for the first time in twenty eight years I am looking forward to Yom Kippur for a chance to make it right with HaShem.   Each year we get that wonderful opportunity to say to teshuva before HaShem; but only if we first make things right with the person we feel we have wronged.   I am grateful beyond words for a dinner and a very important conversation with a very important person in my life.  

Many years ago a very young Orthodox Rabbi in Richmond stood before us one Shabbos preceeding Rosh HaShannah and told us that his favorite holiday was Yom Kippur.   He extoled the virtues of  that unprecedently opportunity to say I'm sorry and walk away with a clean slate.   "How great is that?",  He would say with a joy and enthusiasm that was palpable.  I walked away saddened by the feeling that I always had that I would never be able to right a wrong I felt responsible for.   But I did have that chance and knowing that everything in my life comes from HaShem; I am truly grateful. 

My bracha for my family, dear friends and the community at large is that  the path on which HaShem leads us is one filled with second chances and that we all can walk away from Yom Kippur with a clean slate and a desire to do the right thing.   May all of you have much nachos, good health, parnasa and a meanful sweet new year.    
 
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bchem
12 August 2008 @ 12:11 pm
Life Turns On A Dime  
 I write this entry with a heavy heart.   I am shrouded in a sadness that is palpable.  A dear friend of mine is in serious trouble and as a result has compromised the lives of many others.  (including the lives of myself and many of my own family)   On the one hand I don't want to believe, NO, it's that I can't allow myself to beleive that this man, who is capable of quoting from a gamara word for word, would on any given day, deliberately hurt someone else for personal gain.   I just don't believe it.   And yet the facts placed before me in a missive from the goverment tell me otherwise.  I find myself separating action from intention.  I think he did these things with the intention of making things right for everyone invoilved.  But, I know that it's not for us to judge others.   Only HaShem can do that.   Only HaShem sees and knows the big picture.   Right now He's not talking or more likely, I'm not listening.  

I will pray that things do indeed work out for everyone hurt by this, including my friend.  
 
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bchem
07 August 2008 @ 10:40 am
Beachcomber Dust In The Wind  

My picture is of my sweet shetland sheepdog, Windy.   She is a 15 year old retired show dog.  Beachcomber Dust In The Wind is her champion name.   A more well behaved dog doesn't exist on the planet.  She's everything that everyone on the "Dog Whisperer" wants in a pet.  

This morning we went to the vet and I haven't had great experiences with vets here in Virginia Beach,  But this time was different.   Windy was seen by an older soft spoken Dr. who looked more like a homeless guy than a vet.   His conservative approach and respect for the fact that my sweet dog is at the end of the road touched me.   Unlike all the other vets we have seen, he didn't try to push a lot of unecessary tests and meds on me.   The last visit went quite differently when the lady who treated Windy last was adamant that Windy get her teeth cleaned.   Now in deference to her, Windy does indeed need to have her teeth clearned, but given her overall failing health, probably wouldn't have survived the general anesthesia.   The vet's distain made me feel  like I was the most negligent pet owner ever.

Watching my dog grow old makes me sad.  Her hip problems make it hard for her to get around the way she would like to, her hearing is failing and now she's developing cataracts that impair her vision.   Unlike me, however, she never complains.   She still barks at anything that moves outside the house, nudges me to pay more attention to her and on our walks she still challenges larger dogs on occasion and insist that passers by tell her how pretty she is.   

There's a lesson to be learned here, of that I'm sure.  In our brief journey here we can complain constantly and feel sorry for ourselves.  Or like my Sheltie live our lives to the fullest in spite of difficulties that do and will inevitably come our way.  The choice is ours.   

 
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bchem
30 July 2008 @ 05:58 pm
Food court Bingo  
I'm always thinking of ways to make a buck these days and enjoy doing it.   Sid and I had lunch in the newest of Norfolk's two kosher eateries.   To call them restaurants is a stretch.   More like take out, squeeze in, or eat in the food court type places.   No tables with red and white checked table clothes and votive candles floating in water.   Not like that at all.  But we are able to go somewhere other than the grocery store and pay too much for prepared food.    It's a rush when it's not readily available.   

The food was okay, not great, but certainly edible.  While we were waiting for our orders I was looking around at the mostly empty food court.   I said to Sid, this cries out for a Bingo.   There was a stage in the middle of the area creating sort of an "in the round" feeling.  The seating was the  typical food court plastic molded chairs (4 together)  connected to 2 plastic molded tables and anchored securely to the floor.   This keeps things neat and tidy and prevents undesirables from walking out with the furniture.   A true plus if you own a food court and are concerned about losses due to shrinkage.    

So, hence my newest business model, Food Court Bingo.    (For sure I'll follow it up with my version of Food Court Barbie, but that's for another time.)   This is a great idea because Bingo players lover to gamble, eat and smoke.  I didn't see any ash trays and don't know if the smoke part would be a problem.   Maybe, I could come up with a virtual smoking device that we could sell at the door.  All evening they'll think they are having the pleasure of nicotine indulgence and all the while not effecting the air quality.   Man, this is getting better by the minute.   

All the food  court vendors can vie for their business.  This is major.   They don't call me Bingo Bubby for nothing.   Later.....  
 
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bchem
23 July 2008 @ 03:11 pm
Tough Day  

I'm trying really hard not to start feeling sorry for myself.  It's too destructive, but I found out this morning that as of Sept, I am unemployed.  Lay-offs are difficult b/c it's easy to understand why they happen.   And I care very deeply for the school that employed me.   I will continue to do what I can to support it and make sure it stays in existence for my grandchildren.  It's importance cannot be overstated.  

So, what do I do?  Given my overall financial status, I have already come to grips with the reality that I'll never have the luxury of full retirement.  It just isn't in the cards for me.  So what I need to do is find something that I will REALLY enjoy doing.   I know that I don't want to go back into teaching full time.   A good educator takes the work home and never stops staying focused.  For sure I lack the energy to do that well.  

My dream is have own my own business.  To say I enjoyed being in business with my son Sid is a gross understatement.  Thedefunct "Sid Agency" is sorely missed by me.  I would really love to open a children's shoe store in Ghent, but know it would be too risky with the economy at it's lowest.  My other "dream" is to own a building, run Bingos two days a week and lease the remaining space.  The finanical institutions are very tight with money now, so for someone like me to get any kind of loan would be nothing short of a miracle.  So what to do.......  hummmmm ?  

I would really like to hold out and not take any social security until I qualify for the manimum amount which I believe is 9 years away.  I need to check into that though.  My mind is racing and I know in my heart that HaShem will guide me in the right direction.   

BTW anybody wanna buy some Avon?   




 
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bchem
22 July 2008 @ 08:52 am
It's HOT!  
My son has been exploring the possibility of moving his family out of state. A new start in new location with G-d willing a new job and new friends. One of the locations high on the list is Phoenix, Arizona. His wife expressed a concern about free roaming scorpions. afterall it is the desert. The temps average around 108 and up in the summer. Given the little heat wave we are having now in Hampton Roads, I firmly believe that if they have any sense at all, the scorpions will head to Canada for the summer.

It's hot here! As I'm sitting in my office at the beach, I cannot help but notice the dearth of activity outside. I don't see any birds flying around (or crashing into my window as is the habit of one pesky Cardinal around here), don't hear any cicadas, or for that matter not many flies either. They're all at the beach sitting down by the water. My dog sticks her head out the pet door, comes back in and decides she prefers the carpet to the hot decking material in the kennel area. It's HOT.

There is a severe heat advisory that cautions everyone to check on their loved ones and pets. I can't help but wonder what happens to people who are not loved. Like politicians, I'll bet nobody checks on them. And how about the cable guy, neglected for sure.

So here's today's message. Do random acts of chesed (kindness) today. If you see some misguided soul coming out of starbucks with a latte, for gosh sakes run up and grab it away from him/her and pour it into the street. You may just save him/her from internal heat stroke not to mention the possibility of scalding themselves while riding down the street with the latte secured safely between their legs. Should you come across a panting stray pit bull or rottweiler, invite them into your air conditioned home for a biscuit and a cool bowl of water. They'll show you their gratitude doggy style.

Now go do the right thing. 
 
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bchem
21 July 2008 @ 07:59 am
NDEs  
 Well as usual I made it through the fast yesterday and it really wasn't so bad.   Hopefully I put enough thought into why we were fasting.  

At one point I got really sleepy so I took a nap late in the afternoon.   Consequently, I was up a lot last night.  As I was flipping around the dial I came across a program entitled The Lazarus Effect or something like that.   It was about a gentleman in Africa who died in an automobile accident and three days later came back to life in the morgue.   I didn't see the program in it's entirety so I can only talk about what I actually viewed.   

HIs name was Daniel.  He emphasized the fact that he had a fight with his wife prior to the accident and was not speaking to her.  Anyway, they reinact the accident and his trip to the local hospital where he refuses treatment and insists on being transported to his family physician some miles away.   The surgeon strongly suggests against this but the man's wife is emphatic that they respect her husbands wishes.   So they take him to his family doctor and is declared DOA.   They then transport the body to the morgue.   

He describes seeing two angels while in the ambulance and tells of how they lift him out of his body and take him to "heaven".   There he sees an area with beings of light shoulder to shoulder looking up into the light with their arms raised toward the light.   He is told that they are the "saints" who are praising G-d.  Then he tours heaven which is a glowing place with many buildings.   The buildings will eventually house the saints.  (Interesting actually as it really did parallel a midrash about a rabbi who gets a glimps of the world to come)  But then he is taken to view "hell" which BTW had the word HELL carved in the rock entrance.   In hell he sees normal looking people of all races experiencing their own personal torments.   They turn to him at one point begging for his help.  At this time the angel says to Daniel that hell is currently in his future b/c he wouldn't forgive his wife.  He argues with the angel saying that he is a pastor who preaches G-d's word.   The angel said it didn't matter.  Then he wakes up in the morgue and I either fell asleep or switched the channel.    

The point being, growing up I was led to believe if I didn't murder, maime or set someone's house on fire that I was a "good person".    If there's any validity to what I saw last night, I'm in trouble.   So, here's my blanket apology, to anyone I failed to forgive or wronged in any way, I am truly SORRY.   

Boy, I hope that works.   :)   
 
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bchem
16 July 2008 @ 03:07 pm
Random Thoughts  
 Ah, Wednesday, the middle of the week.   The day after Bingo, which went quite well last night.   We had a great crowd and gave away a substantial amount of money.   This is a good thing as it keeps 'em coming back for more.  I actually like my role as manager 95% of the time.  There are those moments that are less than stellar but they are few and far between.  Sid is the favorite caller amoung the Bingo players.  His humor is refreshing and neverending.   It really makes the evening quite pleasant for all of us.

Sunday is a fast day and I abhor fasting.  I understand it and can see how it might be meanful if I weren't so darn hungry all day.   It's really a little funny as many days I forget to eat breakfast and don't have lunch until I realize I'm in need of sustance (which can mean something from the donut group).   It never bothers me on those days.    But tell me I can't eat and it torture.  I do however really want to do the right thing and mourn for the loss of the Temple properly.   It's just hard to focus on the right thoughts.   

Today I signed a contract to give my Norfolk house a badly needed facelift.   My hand was forced by a neighborhood Natzi who ratted on me to the city.  My small rotting places and little bits of chipping paint were too much for this terminal busybody to resist.  Russell Davis is the @#% from the city who paid me a visit and cited me for allowing my property to run down a bit.  To say he is arrogant is the understatement of the century.   I left him a sarcastic message on his voice mail today, informing him of my up and coming improvements.   Maybe my "neighbor" would like to give the money this is going to cost.  

Miller Door also came today to install my new garage door.   Two of the panels had little dings in them and if I hadn't pointed them out he would have just left as if nothing was awray.   He promised to report this to Miller Door and have them call to set up installation for two new panels.   Why would anyone pay over $800 for a garage door and accept anything less than perfect?  

Lastly, I feel certain that my pet sitter is the one who has been stealing from me as a gold necklace disappeared from my closet over Shabbos and she was the only one in the house.    Unless perhaps, my Sheltie has developed a taste for expensive jewelry.   If i do catch my dog wearing my missing rolex and heavy gold chain, I will press charges to the fullest extent of the law.  

Well that's it.  Things will get better.    Film at 11:00.   
 
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bchem
15 July 2008 @ 08:12 am
Money Woes!  
My daughter started her own live journal just yesterday and has already posted two entries.   This has inspired me to write.   But, about what?   I'm really stressing over money right now and don't want to depress anyone who might read this.  

However, just let me say that I am more than upset about the way the  economy is destroying decent hardworking business and working people who are just trying to meet their monthly expenses.  One has to wonder with all the fail safe measures that could be taken to adjust what is happening to our Capitalist System; just why nothing is happening.  Mr. Bernanke has been a major disappointment as has our Republican President.   And don't even get me started on the Congress.  (I do however, support the war, because I really feel that it is the only thing separating us from that part of the world that wants us dead)

Remember when you were in preschool and didn't like the way your art project was going?   What did you do?   You tore it  up or balled it up, unceremoniously disposed of it and started all over again with a fresh piece of paper or clay.  Problem solved!   Now as an adult; how do you solve your computer problems?   Control Alt Delete.......    reboot and hope it defaults back to what it should be doing.   Man, wouldn't it be nice if the economy could be fixed that way?     

Next time any of those @#%^s from OPEC show up on your computer newcasts; just press delete.   Reboot and BAM oil prices return to what they were before everything began spiraling out of control.    

Warren Buffet maintains that the stock market decline is not a bad thing but a huge buying opportunity.   A major sale going on on Wall Street.  Prices are slashed.  Now, that's all well and good if you don't need to USE your money.   If one has billions in reserve, one can well afford to endulge in the wonderful offerings before us now.   I as are others, am watching my money disappear before my eyes and wondering how I will fare if I outlive my money.    Not to mention the fact that I see the value of my two houses declining at biblical proportions.  

There is a bright light at the end of the tunnel.   My late husband taught me that HaShem is in control.   Everything we have and everything that happens to us comes from Him.  It is all good, even if it doesn't seem like it.   I have two choices in all this.   One to make myself miserable or two to not be miserable and do everything I can to improve my own situation and to help others whenever the opportunity arises.    Baruch HaShem.    :)  
 
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